My heart was heavy on this night. I asked my sons for five minutes of silence—“Mommy really needs a moment.” Isaiah continues to mumble, sing and ask random questions as a four year old would. Christian looks at his brother in the eyes and says, “Mommy asked for silence Isaiah,” however proceeds with curiosity as to why this silence was needed. He said, “Why do we need to be quiet Mommy?” I paused and thought to myself, “Well Whit, what are you planning to say? Will you give your beautiful, articulate, playful, innocent, male, black sons your reason for this brief silence?” I decided to open my mouth in that instant and said, “Pop, Mommy is having a hard time with understanding why people go to such lengths to hurt people—our people—black people.” He looks me square in the eyes and says so innocently, “Everyone needs a minute Mommy because people can be mean, really mean sometimes and I don’t like that. We should love each other—I don’t really get why we just don’t love each other.” I meditated briefly on his words of love and said, “You're right babe, people can be really mean and we should always lead with love and love each other.” Of course, after having this small dialogue I reiterated my immediate need for a moment of silence but, both proceeded to whisper loudly to one another.
I began laughing to myself. In that moment I clung tightly to their small voices discussing the innocence of their worldly perspective and enjoyments—Pokemon, creating animals out of bubbles in their bath, and plotting on dessert after dinner. I smiled and asked God, how? How do I help to shape their young minds to build awareness without robbing them of their innocence? How do I encourage and appoint your children to safe persons if they, too, want to see us dead? I allowed myself to sit with those questions as I press through my nightly responsibilities—pajamas on, dinner done, story read and now let us pray. Before I could exit their bedroom, Christian said, “but Mommy you didn’t sing tonight, sing that song—“the Lord is my light and salvation whom shall I fear, whom shall I be afraid.” I smiled. I smiled because without fail this child is used to re-shift my focus back on the Source. He is a walking reminder to me that we are indeed in a problematic time, but we need to remain postured, ready and solution-focused. With those words he reminded me of the God that I serve. In that moment I said, “Whit GET BACK TO WORK.” I proceeded to sing that song tonight like my life depended on it—because in that moment it did—I was making a declaration. As I grew stronger in song my sons joined in unison.
After praying with my boys, singing with them, I left their room. I walked away reiterating to myself that I am a daughter to the King who sits on the highest throne AND a mother led by God’s word AND an anointed counselor AND writer, Black AND Woman who acknowledges the enemy’s plot to not only dim our lights, but to destroy and demolish our power source—our hope, our faith. I implore my people to be reminded that the enemy works tirelessly to cause confusion, doubt, anger and frustration, and while we have every reason to acknowledge that, feel that and voice that, I encourage us not to LEAD from that place—don’t give into his plan. I say these words to myself as well and continuously pursue after compassion AND forgiveness.
To My People
I denounce and bind up every spirit of fear and every word of doubt and shame we have spoken over ourselves, and consequently over our children. I declare that we will speak life into ourselves and uplift our community with outward expressions of hope. We will rise with a victorious attitude, life on our tongues, love in our hearts, and a relentless pursuit after liberation. Even now I declare a hunger after God’s word, persistence in seeking to hear His voice and an unwavering trust in the promise God has declared over our lives.
Equip us to serve Your people Father, and give us clear insight on our next ACTION step to bring forth change. Father God, I come against spirits of complacency, hopelessness, stagnation—may You arrest our souls to work our platforms, work our arenas that You have provided to promote long-standing change. I thank You in advance Father for the mighty move You will make and I proclaim that vengeance is already Yours. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Stay prayed up.
Armored with His word.
Serve His People.
We’ve always needed it—it's just getting detrimentally clearer.
*Meditate on Psalms 91*